hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
