I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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