We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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