I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
