Will you blow on my dice?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
