Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Quick, to the slutcave!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
