he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
