piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
