Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
