i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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