I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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