he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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