They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is my gift to your gina
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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