Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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