i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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