I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
