how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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