i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
