I just made out with a guy for $7.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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