I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
