You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
