why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
