we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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