I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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