Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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