you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
