she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
this hospital has no fireball
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
