She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
