my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
