that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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