Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
