hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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