you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
