This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
