But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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