sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
