I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
