This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
