In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
