whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've blown a few things in my day
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
