I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
