I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
