weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
