I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
