Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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