I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
