so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
