what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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