My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
