btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
