biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
